A Boycott List for Concerned Christians

I read a short piece about how this image has caused a bit of a ruckus amongst the always Jesus-like Christian community. They are boycotting Oreos for this heinous sin. I thought I would include all of Kraft’s products listed on Wikipedia so that dutiful Christians will know all the products they need to boycott.

A1 Steak Sauce
Africana (Romania)
Air Crisps
Ali Coffee
Alpen Gold (chocolate) (Hungary, Russia)
Arrowroot biscuits
Back to Nature
Baker’s (chocolate)
Balance Bar
Bassetts Allsorts (sweets) (United Kingdom)
Better Cheddars
Boca Burger
BullsEye Barbecue Sauce
Cadbury plc
Café HAG
California Pizza Kitchen (grocery store items)
Calumet Baking Powder
Cameo (biscuits)
Capri Sun (juice drink)
Carte Noire
Charada (Peru)
Cheese Nips
Cheez Whiz
Cheezels (Malaysia)
Chicken in a Biskit
Chips Ahoy! (cookies)
Chipsmore (Malaysia, Singapore)
Christie (Canadian division of Nabisco)
Claussen (pickles)
Club Social (crackers)
Cool Whip (non-dairy whipped cream)
CornNuts (snack food)
Coronita (Peru)
Côte d’Or
Country Time (powdered drink mix)
Cracker Barrel Cheese
Crystal Light
Daim (Sweden)
Dairylea (Europe)
Delissio (Canada)
Easy Cheese
Eden processed cheese (Philippines)
El Caserío (Spain)
Estrella (Sweden)
Field (Peru)
Fig Newton
Figaro (Chocolate) (Slovakia)
Filipinos (snack food) (Spain, Portugal)
Freia (Norway)
Fudgee-O (Canada)
General Foods International
Gevalia (Sweden)
Grape-Nuts (breakfast cereal)
Green & Blacks (chocolate) (United Kingdom)
Grey Poupon (mustard)
Halls (medicated sweets) (United Kingdom)
Harvest Crisps
Honey Maid
In-A-Biskit (Australia)
Jack’s Pizza
Jacobs (Europe)
Jacob’s (biscuits)
Japp (Scandinavia)
Jell-O (gelatin dessert)
Jet-Puffed Marshmallows
Jiagai (China)
Kenco (United Kingdom)
Knox (gelatin)
Kong Haakon (Norway)
Kool-Aid (flavored drink mix)
Korona (Ukraine)
Kraft BBQ Sauce
Kraft Caramels
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Kraft Dinner (Canada)
Kraft Easymac
Kraft Mayo
Kraft Bagelfuls
Kraft Peanut Butter (Canada)
Kraft Singles (pasteurized prepared cheese product)
Kraft Sandwich Spread
Kraker Bran
Lacta (Brazil, Greece)
Lucky crackers (Taiwan)
Lyuks (potato chips) (Ukraine)
Maarud (potato chips) (Norway)
Marabou (Sweden)
Maxwell House (coffee)
Maynards Wine Gums (sweets) (United Kingdom)
Mellow Bird’s Coffee (United Kingdom)
Milka (Europe)
Miracle Whip (salad dressing spread)
Miracoli (Germany)
Mostro (Peru)
Mikado (United Kingdom)
Nabob (coffee) (Canada)
Natural Confectionery Company (‘natural’ sweets) (Australia & United Kingdom)
Non-Stop (Scandinavia)
Nutter Butter
O’boy (Scandinavia, Estonia)
O’smile (Taiwan)
Onko (coffee)
Oreo (cookie)
Orchard Crisps
ORO Saiwa
Oscar Mayer
Grated Parmesan cheese
Pacific crackers (China)
Philadelphia cream cheese
Poiana (Romania)
Polly-O (cheese)
Premium (a Nabisco brand of saltine crackers)
P’tit Québec
Prince Polo
Pure Kraft Salad Dressings
Ritz Metro
Royal baking powder
Saiwa (Italian Division of Nabisco)
Seven Seas (salad dressings)
Saimaza (Spain)
Sanka (decaffeinated coffee)
Shake ‘n Bake
Simmenthal (canned meat)
South Beach Living
Starbucks (grocery store items)
Stove Top stuffing
Svoge (Bulgaria)
Swiss Crackers
Sugar Wafers
Taco Bell (grocery store items)
Tassimo (single-serve coffee machines using pods branded as T-Discs)
Teddy Grahams
Terrabusi (Kraft Foods Argentina)
Terry’s (chocolates)
Terry’s Chocolate Orange
Tiger Energy Biscuits (Southeast Asian countries)
Toasted Chips
Toblerone (Kraft Foods Switzerland)
Tombstone (frozen pizza)
Triscuit (snack cracker)
Trebor (sweets) (United Kingdom)
Twisties (Malaysia)
Uguan (China)
Vegemite (Australia)
Wheat Thins

Taking a closer look at this list, it doesn’t seem very LGBT heavy for sales.

All the way up to Claussen pickles is either unknown to me or something I would expect to find in a South Carolina dorm room. I love Claussen pickles by the way. Friggin awesome, so now I guess they are gay-loving awesome pickles. I used to drink Capri Sun as a kid. No one would miss much if that product fell off the planet. Cheez Whiz? That is like meat and potatoes for fag haters. Cool Whip? I would love to see the southern evangelicals boycott Cheez Whiz and Cool Whip. There would be casualties.

I don’t know what Fudgee-O is but I am going to get some the next time I am in Canada. Fig Newtons suck. At least twice a year even I crave Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Perhaps the one percent of one percent that has fooled you into voting against your own self interests, and hating anything that isn’t exactly like you has never tasted the chalky, cheesy goodness of this national staple, but I sure as shit know you have. Go ahead, take that away from your cross-eyed spawn. Better lock your bedroom door at night.

Kool-Aid? Seriously, you are going to boycott Cheez Whiz, Cool Whip, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Oreos and Kool-Aid? What are you going to feed your kids, …rocks?


About wilsonericthomas

I will come back here and type something witty soon... (repeat 100 times.)
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